Ten Years

November in Texas is unpredictable. It could be warm and humid; it could be cold and rainy. But November 16, 2013 turned out to be in the 70s and lovely. And honestly, I wouldn't have cared much either way because I was still going to end up married at the end of the day.

We had only been engaged about six months, but I would've eloped the weekend he proposed if he had let me. I didn't really want to plan and pay for a big wedding. I just wanted to start our life together. 

But Justin wanted our family and friends to be able to be there, and I understood. So many people were rooting for us. We'd known each other since we were kids and we had a lot of mutual friends. Many had followed my incredibly painful journey over the previous decade. They were excited when Justin and I started dating. They were ecstatic when we got engaged. They wanted to be present for the wedding. 

However, about four months into the wedding planning, Justin did start to think he should've taken me up on my elopement idea. Living in Dallas while planning a wedding 200 miles away with both of us working full time was arduous at times. When I finally had a meltdown from stress in the middle of Northpark one Saturday, Justin agreed to let me hire a wedding planner. Aside from the photographers, that was the best investment we could've possibly made. 

When the company we were renting the linens from forgot to reserve them for us, and I didn't find out until the week before the wedding, it wasn't my job to find more linens. When I was sitting in the hair salon getting my hair done for the ceremony and got a call that there were no table numbers on the tables at the reception hall... not my problem. Everything got done and I wasn't the one trying to do it. I got to enjoy my day and be present. 

Little did I know that Justin was having a very eventful afternoon as well. He has a severe cashew allergy and had somehow been exposed during lunch with his family. He ended up in urgent care with anaphylaxis. He didn't even tell me until after the wedding. In fact, I believe he casually mentioned it on the way to the airport.

Not only that, but one of his groomsmen found out his suit was shipped to his home in LA ... the day before the wedding. So they had to pull some serious strings to have it re-routed in transit to Texas. They weren't sure if it was going to get here in time. Justin only had two groomsmen, so if he had to wear something different or just sit this one out, it would've been noticeable.

Nevertheless, we both made it to the church on time and were able to steal a moment together for our first look. Seeing the expression of equal parts rapture and tenderness on his face when he saw me was overwhelming. It took all the willpower I had not to ruin my expensive airbrushed face. He gently dabbed the corners of my eyes with his handkerchief to preserve my makeup. 

It's funny. I remember praying with the ladies in the bridal suite beforehand. I remember dad and I standing in the foyer holding hands waiting for our cue. I remember Justin absolutely sobbing as I walked down the aisle to the gorgeous song our good friend Keeton Coffman wrote for us. But the ceremony itself is a blur. I don't have any more clear memories until I was back in the bridal suite with my new husband and my bridal party. Many people know I loathe being the center of attention, so I probably just dissociated. But obviously I said everything I was supposed to say because we ended up married any way.

I do have a lot of memories from the reception. I remember wondering what the reception hall was even going to look like since the wedding coordinator handled that. I had a mild panic attack when we first walked in as our DJ announced our arrival and the first thing I saw was that my cake had bubbles in the fondant. I assume it was from the humidity while being transported. But all of that anxiety quickly subsided as we danced our first dance. 

That reception was three of the shortest hours of my life. But I remember the joy, the laughter, the dancing, the beautiful speeches, and singing the Aggie War Hymn. I remember waltzing with my dad and dropping it like it's hot with my girlfriends. I remember my dear friend, Julie, proposing a heartfelt toast in the hallway. I remember our friend, Jarrod, rapping a verse on "California Love" and making me laugh until I cried. I remember dancing our last dance and feeling both the excitement for our honeymoon and the sadness that this amazing night was about to end forever. 

When we finally escaped in that silver 1932 Pierce Arrow, we were a bit awestruck. My feet were on fire. My ears were still ringing from all the excitement. But we had just had the best day surrounded by loved ones from all over the country. And I was finally able to admit that I was glad we didn't elope on the Strand in Galveston six months earlier.